Why does it keep happening to me?
Why is life so unpredictable at times and, so unfair?
In the year 2013, I’m fairly sure that it was sometime in October, I was found to have the capacity to make the decision to consent to marry by somebody called Stuart Francis of Social Services.
Soon after I was deemed that I have the capacity to know what a prenuptial agreement is by somebody called Dr Janet Grace hence, why on the 1st November 2014 Yvette & I walked down the aisle as husband & wife at Grafton Manor in Bromsgrove.
Now you would have thought that I’d be absolutely gutted given this was my third and, what I’d assumed was my final marriage to my best friend but, unfortunately I indulged in some chat rooms with other women and Yvette found out, she’s now filled for a divorce.
It’s so true what they say, that (every cloud has a silver lining)…..what I mean by that is, I now have the opportunity to start all over again.
Why is it that on the one hand things are going remarkably well, especially with my cycling?
Then on the other hand I’m sinking?
I like many others get a lot of positivity and, feel good factor from continuous praise.
I have no idea if any of you have taken the time to review all of my website but, the feedback that I keep receiving on my various blogs is simply outstanding, even if I do say so myself.
I’m regularly asked if I’m a professional blog writer also, that I’m a great author….
My favourite one is, how do I centre myself and clear my mind before starting my blogs?
I’ve even been asked if I’ve considered writing a book….
I don’t have the heart to tell them that my office was an afterthought, I’m sat tucked away in a busy hallway next to the downstairs toilet with absolutely no privacy, anybody walking past can see what I’m writing.
I’m regularly disturbed by yapping dogs.
My office chair is a rickety old thing that I’m scared to move on for fear of the legs breaking and, I’m a disabled brain injury survivor.
The word capacity has become the bane of my life….
So how do I remain so positive?
How am I able to write a blog about positivity?
The simple answer is with difficulty, especially when most things that I’ve listed above are so negative….
Due to my brain injury, I take great solace in the fact that I keep on achieving so many different things. For the three years that I spent in rehab and, for many years afterwards, I was sadly disillusioned thinking that I’d somehow make a miraculous recovery and, I won’t always be disabled.
In the spring of 2017 I started my public speaking journey, motivating and inspiring literally hundreds of people to be the very best version of themselves, by sharing my journey before, during and after an accident that I should never have survived.
I’m quite confident that I’ll never accept that this is me, a disabled brain injury survivor.
I’ve come to terms with it but I’ll never accept it, that would be almost like giving up or, throwing in the towel as far as I’m concerned.
I’ll never forget my time spent in rehab, especially when I was given a powered wheelchair, I hated the thought of using it at first but, after a while I realised that I could use it to my advantage.
- No longer would I need assistance to go to the bathroom….
- No longer would I need to be pushed to my various therapy appointments….
- No longer would I be subject to the slops that they called food….
- No longer would I feel imprisoned somewhere that I really didn’t want to be….
Instead I’d gained a new level of independence, something that I’d been missing for such a long time.
- I started to take myself to the bathroom….
- I’d disappear for hours going round the hospital gardens, stopping for the occasional Marlborough Lite along the way….
- I started to take myself to all of my therapy appointments….
- I’d often take myself to the basement canteen for a cake and coffee….
- I started to take myself down to the local shops for a bar of chocolate and a can of coke or, down to the chippy where I’d over indulge on copious amounts of lard or, I’d simply take myself down to the local park for a crafty fag, basically anything to escape the mundane hospital atmosphere….
Coming to terms with and, accepting that this is me a disabled brain injury is the single most difficult thing that I’ve ever had to endure.
My phycologist asked me the last time that we had a meeting in person, if I’d ever cried since my accident? To which I replied with I’ve had a couple moments but, I’ve never sat down and physically cried my heart out.
It’s kind of lucky that I can take great pride in my cycling achievements, otherwise what else would I have?
2020 saw some quite impressive cycling, with many rides over 30 to 40 miles, we also cycled, we being my brother-in-law, riding a traditional upright bike and I, successfully cycled: –
- We’ve cycled in excess of 75 miles, from my home in the Midlands to Drayton Manor and back in just 1 day on numerous of occasions;
- We cycled from my home to the coastal town of Aberystwyth achieving 123.35 mile in just 2 days;
We also cycled three different coast to coasts, those being: –
- Morcombe to Scarborough achieving 140 miles in three days, that’s despite me having a pretty spectacular crash ending up in hospital on day one;
- Ilfracombe to Plymouth achieving 109 miles in just 2 days;
- Whitehaven to Whitley Bay, Tynemouth achieving 107.5 miles in just 2 days;
2021 so far has been an equally challenging year, having already cycled many hundreds of miles round the Midlands and Shropshire. We’ve also cycled: –
- The Taunton Flyer achieving 63.56 miles in just 1 day;
- Holyhead to Chester achieving 96.65 miles in 2 days;
- I’ve cycled countless 30+ mile Turbo Trainer sessions and, rides around the Midlands;
- We’ve just completed the JOGLE, achieving 956.04 from John ‘O’ Groats to Lands-end in 14 days;
There will be further challenging rides this year however, the JOGLE has consumed all of our energy right now.
We’re already looking forward to what next year might look like, with trips like The NC500 in Scotland, cycle the whole of the Normandy Coast, cycle across Africa although that’s debatable, plus many more.
Yes I’m very aware that I’ve shared much of this already, before its held against me for lacking capacity but, I’ll never be able to lead what I call a normal life again, so let me bask in my own glory.